...on the way to an interview. I was several states away from home already when I realized that I forgot to pack the belt that goes with my suit. So I needed to either (a) not unbutton my suit jacket for the whole interview or (b) buy a belt on the way to the interview. I was scheduled to be there for worship and then be interviewed, so I was anxious about time. Nevertheless I opted for plan b. Luckily there was a big box store open early enough to get in, buy a belt (one that fit!) and get to my interview just on time.
I swear, God has an awesome sense of humor. The sermon that morning was over Matthew 6:25-34—that's the part about not worrying. Jesus says not to worry about what you are going to eat or drink—or wear! And just an hour or two before hand I'd been very worried about having a belt!
On a deeper level, it made me very thankful for my parents, who have taken myself and my wife in while I'm looking for a new position. If it weren't for them I would be very worried about what I would be eating, drinking, and wearing as the state is receiving it's first snow tonight.
Don't worry
Be good to each other
Rev. Josh
102911
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Wednesday, September 07, 2011
All About Toothpicks
No, this isn't going to be a post about this clip from Rain Man—although a discussion of the depiction of autism and relationships in that film would make a fine post, now that I think about it. But not this post! Nor is this a post about this amazing piece of art created by Japanese public school students.No, this post is about how toothpicks reminded me that one of the most persistent idol in postmodern United States culture is the idol of Business.
I'm currently between positions and looking for a new church to serve. The search process is a little bit like computer dating—my profile is out and circulating, and local churches have profiles that circulate as well. Where the metaphor breaks down is that instead of impressing a single person on my "dates" I'm actually dealing with a committee. So imagine computer dating a committee and you'll have an understanding of why the process is long and involved. It's a good process, but it takes a long, long time.
In the mean time, my wife and I have moved in with my parents. We're making the most of it, contributing to the buying of groceries with her income and generally pitching in around the house. Which is how I found myself taking a load of soda cans and bottles to the recycling center at the local grocery store. I dutifully shoved cans and bottles into the appropriate apertures, received the little paper slips, and went into the store to reclaim the deposits.
In this particular store, you reclaim deposits by taking the slips to a cashier at one of the registers—which means you have to walk through the most dangerous part of the store. The place where people get in a hurry and don't watch where they're going. The place where folk whip their carts around corners in a flurry to get to the next isle and the next thing on their list. The place where the lines for the registers get backed up. I keep thinking that there must be a name for that part of the store, but I don't know what it is—it's that place between the aisle endcaps and the register endcaps.
As I was navigating that nameless space, I noticed something unusual. There was a small girl—maybe four or five years old—squatting down in a the center of a scattered pile of colored plastic toothpicks very carefully picking them up one by one with the intense concentration of the very young. As I approached, I found a man I assume to be her father corralling an even younger boy with one hand and picking up toothpicks with the other.
Be honest with yourself for a moment. What would your very first instinct be upon discovering this scene? I think that most of us would do what I did—take a quick mental check of how much time you have and how long it might take to help pick up an entire container of toothpicks from the floor of the grocery store. Am I right?
Ah, but I had the benefit of being unemployed with nowhere to be except where I am. I too squatted down and began picking up toothpicks.
"Oh, you don't have to do that," says the father.
I shrug. "I don't have anyplace I need to be. I don't mind."
And so I spend a few minutes picking up toothpicks and observing. I notice how determined the little girl is to help. I notice how the little boy wants to be free of his father's arm and how his patience slowly erodes. I notice how well the father is actually doing at picking up toothpicks while keeping hold of his son. And I notice the people going by. I see the way they notice us in the middle of the floor and I see the way most of them studiously ignore us and go around. One gentleman even exclaims, "Pick-up sticks! That's what that looks like," as he walked around the mess without slowing. I definitely notice the good-natured way the father chuckles ruefully and allows that it does look a bit like a game of pick-up sticks.
At some point a woman I assume to be the mother returns with a grocery cart. We have a repeat performance of the "Oh, you don't have to do that," conversation. Then she helps to pick up the toothpicks, which are slowly filling their plastic box once more. The little girl is holding the box and gives it an experimental shake, clearly enjoying the rattling sound it makes. The mother deftly removes the box from her daughter, saying "Oh, we're not shaking that any more." I try not to smile.
Faster than you would think, the task was done. The family thanks me and I say "No problem" and we go our separate ways. It really only took up a tiny fraction of my day. Honestly, even on a busy day I could have spared those few minutes. If it were me it would have made a world of difference for someone to actually stop and help instead of ignoring me. Little things matter.
So I went home.
But first I took the extra 10 seconds it takes to return someone's grocery cart to the cart corral.
Be good to each other,
Rev. Josh
090711
Friday, February 11, 2011
So Much Wrong Here
Every once in a while, something important takes the internet by storm, goes viral, gets picked up by major television news outlets—and I more or less miss it. I know that Emmi pointed it out to me when Nerdy Apple Bottom went viral with her "My son is gay. Or he's not. I don't care" post. But it somehow didn't sink in until one of my dearest friends linked the epilogue to the story.
The down and dirty summary is this: Nerdy Apple Bottom's 5 year old son asked to be Daphne from Scooby Doo for Halloween. After waiting an appropriate amount of time, "not because it was a cross gendered situation, but because 5 year olds have a tendency to change their minds." she says yes. The child is ecstatic. Or at least he is until it's time to wear it to the church preschool he attends, when he becomes afraid that he's going to be laughed at. His mother encourages him after all, "...who would make fun of a child in costume?" Answer: Moms A, B & C. That's essentially the story from the first post, and really the only information that was given. I don't know where she lives, what denomination the church belongs to, and I certainly have no idea who Moms A, B or C are. I do know that the blog post went all atomically viral, and that it was even picked up by the Today Show.
As difficult as that whole story is, I am possibly even more deeply saddened by her "Epilogue" post. In short, her minister and the elders of her church took it upon themselves to, well, punish Nerdy Apple Bottom for her public witness. They claimed that she had broken the 8th Commandment—the one prohibiting false witness—in a series of meetings that culminated in an ultimatum: Write an apology to Moms A, B & C, take down the Halloween post, no longer write or speak about Moms A, B & C regarding these "accusations," and consider taking down the blog entirely or "be removed from the congregation and not be able to transfer to another church in our denomination in good standing."
That's right, excommunication.
The way I see it, the issue she raises is one of equality on several levels. The first is a gender equality issue. She names it by pointing out that if her daughter had dressed up as Batman, she wouldn't have heard anything about it. There's something insidiously wrong about the way our society dances around gender equality when it comes to clothing: women are supposedly equal to men today, and that's why they can wear "men's clothes." But if a man wears "women's clothes" it lessens him in the eyes of our society. So... women's clothes and men's clothes aren't equal? Women can become as good as men, but for a man to become like a woman is degrading? Balderdash!
Secondly, she correctly recognizes that the comments were coming from a place of rampant homophobia. She sums up her feelings on that quite well. A Halloween costume is not going to cause her 5 year old to "turn gay" any more than it would turn him into a ninja. And if it turns out that he is gay, he's her son, and she'll love him no matter what.
Thirdly, there's an inherent inequality in power in this story. It wasn't the words of another 5 year old that cut so deep—it was the words of several adults. An adult and a 5 year old child do not and should not have the same amount of power. This puts a great deal of responsibility on the shoulders of the adults to avoid harming the psyche of the child at all costs. Moms A, B, & C clearly had different views on what was in the best interest of the child—apparently their views were strong enough to confront the child's mother. It should be very rare for anyone to question the way other people raise their own children, and it should never, ever be done in front of the child. At best that undermines the authority of the parent and at worst it psychologically damages the poor child.
There is also an imbalance of power between her and her minister—how much of an imbalance depends on what tradition she comes from and what her beliefs are. If she comes from a Protestant tradition, she's more likely to be able to say, "Go ahead, excommunicate me, there's a UCC church down the road that'll take me in." If she comes from, say, a really conservative hierarchical tradition, it is much more difficult to break away because you'd be depriving yourself of the "real" sacraments, etc.
All in all, I can see how the gobs of attention might be really hard on the little guy. But I definitely see where his mom is coming from. She tried to teach her 5 year old that the world is a safer place than he knew it was. And when she discovered that it wasn't, she took it upon herself to do everything within her power to make it safe.
And let's face it, if he is gay, then having his Mom proclaim very publicly that he has her unconditional love can do nothing but help him down the line.
Be good to each other,
Rev. Josh
021111
The down and dirty summary is this: Nerdy Apple Bottom's 5 year old son asked to be Daphne from Scooby Doo for Halloween. After waiting an appropriate amount of time, "not because it was a cross gendered situation, but because 5 year olds have a tendency to change their minds." she says yes. The child is ecstatic. Or at least he is until it's time to wear it to the church preschool he attends, when he becomes afraid that he's going to be laughed at. His mother encourages him after all, "...who would make fun of a child in costume?" Answer: Moms A, B & C. That's essentially the story from the first post, and really the only information that was given. I don't know where she lives, what denomination the church belongs to, and I certainly have no idea who Moms A, B or C are. I do know that the blog post went all atomically viral, and that it was even picked up by the Today Show.
Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy
As difficult as that whole story is, I am possibly even more deeply saddened by her "Epilogue" post. In short, her minister and the elders of her church took it upon themselves to, well, punish Nerdy Apple Bottom for her public witness. They claimed that she had broken the 8th Commandment—the one prohibiting false witness—in a series of meetings that culminated in an ultimatum: Write an apology to Moms A, B & C, take down the Halloween post, no longer write or speak about Moms A, B & C regarding these "accusations," and consider taking down the blog entirely or "be removed from the congregation and not be able to transfer to another church in our denomination in good standing."
That's right, excommunication.
The way I see it, the issue she raises is one of equality on several levels. The first is a gender equality issue. She names it by pointing out that if her daughter had dressed up as Batman, she wouldn't have heard anything about it. There's something insidiously wrong about the way our society dances around gender equality when it comes to clothing: women are supposedly equal to men today, and that's why they can wear "men's clothes." But if a man wears "women's clothes" it lessens him in the eyes of our society. So... women's clothes and men's clothes aren't equal? Women can become as good as men, but for a man to become like a woman is degrading? Balderdash!
Secondly, she correctly recognizes that the comments were coming from a place of rampant homophobia. She sums up her feelings on that quite well. A Halloween costume is not going to cause her 5 year old to "turn gay" any more than it would turn him into a ninja. And if it turns out that he is gay, he's her son, and she'll love him no matter what.
Thirdly, there's an inherent inequality in power in this story. It wasn't the words of another 5 year old that cut so deep—it was the words of several adults. An adult and a 5 year old child do not and should not have the same amount of power. This puts a great deal of responsibility on the shoulders of the adults to avoid harming the psyche of the child at all costs. Moms A, B, & C clearly had different views on what was in the best interest of the child—apparently their views were strong enough to confront the child's mother. It should be very rare for anyone to question the way other people raise their own children, and it should never, ever be done in front of the child. At best that undermines the authority of the parent and at worst it psychologically damages the poor child.
There is also an imbalance of power between her and her minister—how much of an imbalance depends on what tradition she comes from and what her beliefs are. If she comes from a Protestant tradition, she's more likely to be able to say, "Go ahead, excommunicate me, there's a UCC church down the road that'll take me in." If she comes from, say, a really conservative hierarchical tradition, it is much more difficult to break away because you'd be depriving yourself of the "real" sacraments, etc.
All in all, I can see how the gobs of attention might be really hard on the little guy. But I definitely see where his mom is coming from. She tried to teach her 5 year old that the world is a safer place than he knew it was. And when she discovered that it wasn't, she took it upon herself to do everything within her power to make it safe.
And let's face it, if he is gay, then having his Mom proclaim very publicly that he has her unconditional love can do nothing but help him down the line.
Be good to each other,
Rev. Josh
021111
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Souperbowl of Caring
My fiancée recently brought the Souper Bowl of Caring to my attention as a possibility for our junior high youth group to participate in.
I have to admit that I said "sure thing" and kind of put it on the back burner at first. But she persisted and when I went to their website and researched what they were about, I was struck by two things. First, I was struck the fact that the Souper Bowl of Caring insists that everything you collect go directly to a local charity—the Souper Bowl of Caring defines itself as a movement. Second, it hit me that this was a perfect first project to kick off the interfaith youth program I'm trying to get off the ground.
The interfaith piece is happening on January 23rd; a panel discussion featuring representatives from Buddhism, Christianity, Islam, Judaism, and Unitarian Universalism. I am elated and excited by the prospect of it going off—and terrified that something will go horribly wrong! Ah, the joys of being in charge...
In any case, here's a wonderful video about the history of the Souper Bowl of Caring movement and the effects it has on its participants. My experience with it so far is absolutely fantastic, and I would encourage any group at all to try out the Souper Bowl of Caring!
Be good to each other,
Rev. Josh
011111
I have to admit that I said "sure thing" and kind of put it on the back burner at first. But she persisted and when I went to their website and researched what they were about, I was struck by two things. First, I was struck the fact that the Souper Bowl of Caring insists that everything you collect go directly to a local charity—the Souper Bowl of Caring defines itself as a movement. Second, it hit me that this was a perfect first project to kick off the interfaith youth program I'm trying to get off the ground.
The interfaith piece is happening on January 23rd; a panel discussion featuring representatives from Buddhism, Christianity, Islam, Judaism, and Unitarian Universalism. I am elated and excited by the prospect of it going off—and terrified that something will go horribly wrong! Ah, the joys of being in charge...
In any case, here's a wonderful video about the history of the Souper Bowl of Caring movement and the effects it has on its participants. My experience with it so far is absolutely fantastic, and I would encourage any group at all to try out the Souper Bowl of Caring!
Be good to each other,
Rev. Josh
011111
Thursday, December 09, 2010
Don't Let Them Lie To You!
Short. Sweet. To the point. Enjoy!
Be good to each other,
Rev. Josh
120910
Don't Let Them Lie To You from United Church of Christ on Vimeo.
Be good to each other,
Rev. Josh
120910
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Everything's Coming Up Zombies
I've been thinking a lot about zombies lately. And no, I'm not talking about musician, movie director, and scary movie buff, Rob Zombie, although I'm sure he'd be able to add some interesting points to the conversation! And yes, I suppose the fact that Halloween is around the corner might have something to do with my current ponderings, but really, it's so much more than that. After all, if I can find wisdom in Silent Hill, why not zombies? Theologically speaking, it's really not that big of stretch—we were all made in God's image, one of the ways in which we were created in God's image is that we are ourselves creative, therefore we can find God in our creations. Including horror genre and... zombies!
So what wisdom hides in such horror gems as Romero's indie classic, Night of the Living Dead? Ok, ok, purists will point out that Night of the Living Dead does not deal in traditional Hatian-style zombies, just go with me here, ok? In one interview, Romero said, "I wanted something that would be an earth-shaking change. Something that was forever, something that was really at the heart of it. I said, so what if the dead stop staying dead? ... And the stories are about how people respond or fail to respond to this. That’s really all [the zombies] ever represented to me."An earth-shaking change that people either respond or fail to respond to—I think we may have something here. My observation has been that the base human reaction to earth-shaking change is fear. How we deal with this fear becomes the important question.
Some people mask their fear in laughter, sometimes cruel laughter. One of the most quoted lines from Night of the Living Dead, "They're coming to get you, Barbara!" is said by Barbara's husband as he derides her fear of graveyards. Laughing at your own fear can be a powerful tool (Riddikulus!) but when you turn that laughter into a weapon to belittle others it's hardly helpful. It is perhaps a piece of poetic justice that Barbara's husband is killed by the zombies soon after delivering this line.
Some people simply refuse to face their fear in one way or another. Barbara later allows herself to descend into hysteria followed by pure disassociation. We can hardly blame her, she's taken a great blow to her psyche, but in the end it isn't helpful and reduces her character to an old-fashioned stereotypical "useless female."
And of course, some people respond to fear with violence. Sometimes the underlying fear is obvious, as when the main characters fight—at times with words, at times physically—over how to best survive the night. Sometimes the fear is less obvious—hidden behind a screen of dehumanizing pragmatism. Like this:
More and more we see headlines about people acting out of their fear in unhelpful ways, from Qur'an burnings to helicopter parents.
How do you deal with your fear? Would you survive a zombie infestation with your morals intact?
Be good to each other,
Rev. Josh
102610
Monday, October 11, 2010
National Coming Out Day
Happy National Coming Out Day, the internationally observed civil awareness day for coming out and discussion about gay, lesbian, bisexual, asexual and transgender (LGBT) issues.
And let's face it, there are still issues to discuss. I'm sure we could all name several, but today I'm willing to jump on the bandwagon and talk about the recent suicides that have been all over the media as if suicide among queer teenagers is a new epidemic. Truth be told, though, as long as our society considers it ok to tell people that an integral part of themselves—that a deep part of who they are as a person—is disgusting at best and sinful evil at worst, then the queer community will still have to deal with this kind of tragedy on a higher than average basis. And as long as ineffectual methods of dealing with bullying in our school systems are in place, it'll be that much worse for our queer students.
The statistics quoted in the United Church of Christ statement concerning this issue are absolutely sobering, "Nine out of 10 LGBT youth report being verbally harassed at school; 44 percent say they have been physically harassed; 22 percent report having been assaulted; and 60 percent say that when they report abuse, no one does anything to help or protect them." I don't care what your theology is, or how you interpret Leviticus, that is unconscionable!
The good news—and there is good news‐is that our society's culture is slowly but surely changing. I think R. Albert Mohler, Jr., president of The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, probably saw that this is true, as he shifted his sights from issues surround gay marriage to his issues with divorce in a recent article about "the marriage crisis." Even Exodus International has been making some new and interesting decisions, distancing themselves from a counter-rally aimed at Day of Silence. In a recent article, Alan Chambers, President of Exodus International was quoted as saying, "All the recent attention to bullying helped us realize that we need to equip kids to live out biblical tolerance and grace while treating their neighbors as they'd like to be treated, whether they agree with them or not."
I couldn't have said it better myself.
Be good to each other,
Rev. Josh
101110
And let's face it, there are still issues to discuss. I'm sure we could all name several, but today I'm willing to jump on the bandwagon and talk about the recent suicides that have been all over the media as if suicide among queer teenagers is a new epidemic. Truth be told, though, as long as our society considers it ok to tell people that an integral part of themselves—that a deep part of who they are as a person—is disgusting at best and sinful evil at worst, then the queer community will still have to deal with this kind of tragedy on a higher than average basis. And as long as ineffectual methods of dealing with bullying in our school systems are in place, it'll be that much worse for our queer students.
The statistics quoted in the United Church of Christ statement concerning this issue are absolutely sobering, "Nine out of 10 LGBT youth report being verbally harassed at school; 44 percent say they have been physically harassed; 22 percent report having been assaulted; and 60 percent say that when they report abuse, no one does anything to help or protect them." I don't care what your theology is, or how you interpret Leviticus, that is unconscionable!
The good news—and there is good news‐is that our society's culture is slowly but surely changing. I think R. Albert Mohler, Jr., president of The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, probably saw that this is true, as he shifted his sights from issues surround gay marriage to his issues with divorce in a recent article about "the marriage crisis." Even Exodus International has been making some new and interesting decisions, distancing themselves from a counter-rally aimed at Day of Silence. In a recent article, Alan Chambers, President of Exodus International was quoted as saying, "All the recent attention to bullying helped us realize that we need to equip kids to live out biblical tolerance and grace while treating their neighbors as they'd like to be treated, whether they agree with them or not."
I couldn't have said it better myself.
Be good to each other,
Rev. Josh
101110
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